Blackmailing a friend- 5 minute seminar

Cum sa-ti santajezi prietenii - seminat educational.

Lectia 1. setting the grownds
Claudiu : cred ca tu ai mai multe sanse sa te mariti decat Andrada
Eu : dc???
Claudiu : well, you're a happy and well adjusted stereo babe

Lectia 2. subiectul discutiei
Eu : and she's not?
Claudiu : no, she's a fucking crazy bisexual bitchy monster

Lectia 3. confirmarea acceptului de santaj
Eu : bisexual being the operative word there
Eu : wich means that she fucks guys 2 so the's a chance she will get married
Claudiu : nu, not a chance in hell

Lectia 4. accentuarea starii de criza si motivul pentru care santajam
Claudiu : bine, am uitat un mic amanunt, your longest ralationship was so fucked up you couldn't even stand it
Claudiu : si daca stau sa ma gandesc bine e foarte probabil that you would rather burry your man that marrie him
Eu : pai si atunci?
Claudiu : da mah, dar tu treci printr-o faza
Claudiu : o sa-ti dai seama mai tarziu, o sa vezi tu si o sa te normalizezi
Eu : wtffffff???
Claudiu : bine, faza ta dureaza de vreo 7 ani since you started dating but it's not for me to judge

Lectia 5. stating your bussines - the object we're trying to teach
Eu : frate, esti handicapat
Eu : pana una alta nu inteleg toata procuparea asta pt soarta mea si a andradei
Eu : si in alta ordine de idei, I think u should take back what u said about her
Claudiu : de ce?
Eu : well, her being ur girlfriend for the last 3 years and all...and me sort of being her friend...
Claudiu : yeah, right
Claudiu : si ce-o sa-mi faca?
Eu : it's not so much what she'll do to you, as much as what she won't

Lectia 6. realizarea situatiei precare in care se afla - atincerea scopului nostru
Claudiu : I get your point....
Claudiu : now let's talk about the 'what you want' - 'what I can give you' ratio

I really am good at what I do.

P.S. cea mai adevarata reclama ever!!!